The Couples Institute

Of course it’s great news for actors to get a prized role on Broadway and star in a play that lasts for years.

But here’s the bad news: when they play a demanding role six times a week for several years, the part can get stale. When performers start sleep walking through the role, the end is near.

The challenge is how to stay fresh and leave the audience spellbound after a thousand performances .

What do they do? They keep finding fresh ways of expressing themselves while maintaining the integrity of the character and the play. This requires creativity and the willingness to dig deep within themselves to develop the nuances to stay fresh for every performance.

Screen actors need only to hit the perfect notes once and the performance is captured forever. Live actors don’t have that luxury.

So what is the connection to your relationship? It seems to me in the beginning of a relationship, most of the right notes are hit. They are easy and effortless. True love is finally found.

Over time, the routine sets in. The script becomes predictable. You stop digging deeper to keep things fresh. The play becomes stale. The finger pointing (silently or out loud) begins. The show is in danger of shutting down.

BUT you have advantages that the best actors on Broadway don’t have. You are not limited to the same script every day. You are both the actor and director in your relationship play.

If you don’t like how a scene is being played out, you can change the dialogue, the intensity, the meaning of it, and even the timing of it. ( “Let’s finish this scene later when we both have more energy.”)

Because you and your partner are both the architects and the main actors in your play, you have enormous latitude to energize specific scenes: coming home after work, going to bed, weekend chores, vacations, holidays, parenting, daily responsibilities, managing money, etc.

Keep looking for ways to energize and stay fresh with your partner.

Till next time,

Pete

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Dr. Ellyn Bader and Dr. Peter Pearson, Founders and Directors of The Couples Institute, have been helping couples resolve issues and create strong, loving relationships since 1984. They have been featured on over 50 radio and television programs including "The Today Show" and "CBS Early Morning News." For information on their convenient, affordable membership program to click here to improve your marriage or relationship.