The Couples Institute

Online Couples' Community

 

30 somethings

African American

elegant seniors

mixed race
couples community
Feb 22, 2010 Print PDF

Is This the Formula for Marriage Success?

Pete Pearson

I’m always thinking about marriage, relationships, and what it takes to be successful in them. Here’s a formula I’ve come up with:

Success = self knowledge plus determination
Self knowledge = your attitudes and skills necessary for greater relationship satisfaction
Determination = doing what needs to be done even when you don’t want to do it

Think about it. If you have comments or if you come up with your own formula, please share your ideas by clicking the “comments” link above. It’s under the title on the right hand side.

Till next time,
Pete

Dr. Ellyn Bader and Dr. Peter Pearson, Founders and Directors of The Couples Institute, have been helping couples resolve issues and create strong, loving relationships since 1984. They have been featured on over 50 radio and television programs including "The Today Show" and "CBS Early Morning News." For information on their convenient, affordable membership program to click here to improve your marriage or relationship.


[ Back ]
Tagged in: Untagged 
Trackback(0)
Comments (8)Add Comment
feedSubscribe to this comment's feed
min/maxShow/hide comments
admin
...
written by Ursula, February 22, 2010
Pete,
It would be really, really helpful if you wrote an article that detailed the specific attitudes and determination required for a neuro typical partner to develop a fulfilling relationship with a partner with Aspergers Syndrome.
With Sincere Regards,
Ursula
admin
...
written by Andrea, February 23, 2010
Hi Pete,
I’m about to get married, (PS your help a few years ago and your class got us this far! Thank you) and I’d have to add transparency and a willingness to be vulnerable. And when the vulnerablility is seen in the other, to sit gently with it.
And staying in the moment. And recognizing what is going right and build on that!
I’m sure I’ll continue thinking on this one!
Thanks Again, Andrea
admin
...
written by Ursula, February 23, 2010
Dear Pete,
The formula is absolutely right. I “get” that I can only “see” my partner through my own distorted lens.
I am determined to clear that lens.
That is as far as I have gotten in this AS-NT relationship. Now it’s time for me to figure out the specifics.
Thanks for your post.
Ursula
admin
...
written by Carolyn Brown, February 23, 2010
Can’t make that week-end. Hope you can find another place to continue to help couples stay connected! Keep in touch to let us know.

Carolyn
0
...
written by Annette Pinto, February 23, 2010
My thoughts are that to make a relationship work, one has to accept that dynamics are co-created between both people. Then both people have a responsibility for owning their individual part in the conflicts or misunderstandings that occur. It’s easy to blame others, however more productive to look inward.
admin
...
written by Marilyn, February 24, 2010
There doesn’t seem to be much of this happening anymore but it is my belief that making your partner your priority in your life…each making the other a priority…knowing that you are…them knowing that they are…is the key to staying connected.
Pete Pearson
...
written by Pete Pearson, February 24, 2010
Ursula – I’m working on a column which has to do with commitment to change vs wanting to change. The extraordinary number of inter dependencies in a relationship creates limitations on how much one person can change a relationship. I don’t think there is any relationship on earth more emotionally complex than in a couple.
all for now
Pete
admin
...
written by Relationship problem advice, June 09, 2010
Marriage is the most beautiful as well as dynamic step taken by two individuals. Marriage cannot be termed as license for some pleasures. It is a huge decision that comes with lot of responsibilities. No doubt that it is the happiest phase as; it introduces the person who loves you the most. You cannot marry someone just because he or she is very beautiful.

Write comment

busy

Blog Navigation

Blog Categories